Wow...

Has it really been 2 months since I promised I would get something up? Clearly I am a loser. And apparently a liar.


Between adjusting to life with no monkeys, looking for, finding and starting a new job (a fabulous one I might add), things have been hectic.

My New Year's Resolution is to get back to blogging at least a couple times a month. And as opposed to previous resolutions, this one is going to stick. Don't judge me... it was totally unrealistic for me to make a New Year's Resolution to learn how to whisper. Have you met me? I don't do quiet.

So, I am going to start planning now... and will do some posts about other experiences in Costa Rica...but will also post about things currently happening in my life. My recent dating life has been enough to provide comic relief to all.

So until then, Happy Holidays to everyone. May this Holiday Season bring you joy.

Now get out there and spend some money, our economy is failing you know!

Promise

Ok, so I can't believe it has been over a month since I have blogged!!! I don't know where the time has gone... but it has been quite an adjustment getting back to life in San Francisco and not waking up to monkeys running across my roof (sadly back to the sounds of garbage trucks).

However, I am now officially settled back in and glad to be "home" (for the first 2 weeks I refused to unpack my suitcases as I was sure I would be getting right back on a plane). Having said that, I know I will be back to Costa Rica and am already working on the details.

But... to get to the point here, I promise to have a new blog up before I go to bed on Friday night. I am writing it tomorrow and then will upload all of the pictures etc.

Stay tuned... I will try to make it a good one!

xo

I know, I know

I haven't blogged in a week... I am sorry...

I have taken the time this past week to go to the beach, lay by the pool and visit my favorite spots. With my time here winding down, I want to spend as much time as I can enjoying this amazing place.

However, I promise to still blog about all of my experiences here, as I said before, I will be blogging for awhile to catch you up on all... but I will do it.

Love to all. I can't believe I go back to San Francisco in 3 days!!

Tribute to Nancy

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." - William A. Ward

Nancy came baring gifts to Costa Rica…she brought me People magazines and beef jerky, what more could a girl want? I had tried to get Brooke to bring me beef jerky, but she forgot. How in the world does a lesbian forget beef jerky? I might have to report her and have her card revoked. No more toasters for that girl.

Nancy also brought MLB gear… and lots of it. She brought the clothes you saw for Linda, some All Star t-shirts, and lots of caps. Therefore, to honor Nancy, after she left, we changed our “team uniform” to include baseball caps. We thought she would like that, a great tribute to a great lady.

Two fancy ladies representing our home town teams...

Team tribute to Nancy...

This night, we bowled against Agua Azul, a team from the restaurant owned by Rob and Paige, a married couple from the States. Their restaurant is fantastic, great food, amazing view. We had a great time bowling with them, but as typical Americans, their idea of league bowling meant a lot of drinking and some bowling. And while La Chusas de la Suerte likes to have a good time, we mean serious business when it comes to bowling… if you don’t believe me, just ask our jefe.

Thought I lost a challenge to Rob, thus having to take a shot... yuck!

Even though this was a more laid back bowling night, we kicked their butts no problem… while also clearly winning the “best dressed” contest with our new caps. Thanks Nancy!

Not all of the Agua Azul team is represented in this picture, but you can see Paige and Rob, the owners (and Rob is the chef).

And while I am paying tribute to Nancy, I will also give a little "shout out" to Doodle with a picture of our favorite ridiculous pose.

Girl's Dinner

“Yes'm, old friends is always best, 'less you can catch a new one that's fit to make an old one out of.” - Sarah Orne Jewett

Clive and Nancy’s visit went by so quickly, they were only with me for 4 nights before heading north to see some volcanoes and waterfalls, and it flew by. On their last night with me, Clive decided to stay home, so Nancy and I went out for a girls’ only dinner. Delightful.

I have known Nancy for quite some time now. Funny enough, I was with Clive when he met Nancy 2.5 years ago… even funnier, she thought I was his girlfriend. AS IF! Though despite the length of time we have known each other, we have not been lucky enough to spend a whole lot of time together. With her living in Manhattan, and Clive living in London, I don’t see either of them nearly enough.

And when I do see her, usually my crazy family is around, or there are 1,000 baseball events to attend, so we don’t get a lot of bonding time in. However, on this trip, we got some great bonding in… though the real bonding all started with All Star Week in San Francisco last summer.

While I had been around Nancy numerous times before, last year when All Star Week was in San Francisco, we got to hang out quiet a bit. And by hang out, I mean Nancy was kind enough to get me tickets to every possible event… and as you can imagine, Major League Players’ Association events are not too shabby. I spent the entire week running around with her Mom and Aunt … who I could hardly keep up with… who are hysterical… and who were trying to set me up on dates with perfect strangers (albeit very handsome perfect strangers).

The week had some interesting twists however… while Nancy filled our days/nights with great activities… there was one thing she couldn’t pull off… despite the fact that she is “mad connected,” no one can be perfect, you know. It goes to show, that you can have a million connections…but sometimes having just one connection in the right place is all you need. And, as I have only one connection in MLB (aside from my brother and Nanc), it is all I have to rely on; lucky for me and Nancy it was more than enough.

[Brooke, you know where this is going…stop reading, there is no need to torture yourself… it is just going to make you sad all over again…]

To back up a little, when the Baseball World Classic was in San Diego, my brother came to the States for the event and I flew down to spend some time with him (which is where he met Nancy and she thought I was his girlfriend). At one of the fancy events we attended, I was up at the bar getting a drink (a free drink I might add, as everything at these events is free… well at least free to us… clearly someone has to pay for it.. but that is not my problem). While at the bar, this guy, Fernando, started chatting with me…he was clearly not a player (figuratively or literally) and after a little while of chatting, he asked me why I was at the event. He was in no way being rude, just trying to figure out my association with MLB.

I quickly told him that not only was I not important in the world of baseball, but I was probably the least important person in the whole room. Even the hookers, I mean models, that they hire to come in for these parties were more important than me… as clearly they would be providing services that I would not. My only “service” was to eat the free food and have a few drinks…which while not very valuable to anyone else, is very enjoyable for me.

After telling Fernando how insignificant I was, we continued to chat for about 30 more minutes. At the end of our conversation, I came to find out that although my role for the weekend was terribly unimportant, he was on the complete opposite end of the “important spectrum.” As it turns out, Fernando is one of the most notable agents in all of MLB, and has numerous players under him, including, but not limited to; Big Papi (that is David Ortiz for those of you who don’t have a clue), Vladimir Guerrero, Pedro Martinez, Miguel Tejada, Alfonso Soriano, Mariano Rivera and Moises Alou. And while I am not someone who thrives on connections, they certainly don’t hurt… and this one allowed for me to get a birthday card signed by Big Papi and Alou for Brooke’s birthday (she loves the Giants and the Redsocks)… not to mention that Fernando gave me Papi’s signed homerun bat from that weekend… which I gave to Brooke.

Look, I know some people think I am crazy for giving that bat away because it is probably worth a lot of money…but it is something that Brooke gets so much more pleasure out of than I do. Brooke is one of the biggest Ortiz fans out there. Me, well I would probably have just sold it on Ebay to buy a couple pairs of expensive jeans.

Here is a “big timing” picture from the night of the World Classic

Fernando and I hung out a couple more times over that weekend, and afterwards stayed in touch, so when All Star came to San Francisco, he emailed asking if I was going to be around, saying that he would love to hang out. Come on people, don’t take your mind there, you know I am clearly not that kind of a girl… we are strictly friends, and Fernando is a married man who has never been anywhere close to inappropriate with me.

The day that everyone arrived for All Star, Fernando and I were trying to meet up, but just couldn’t get our schedules coordinated… I was hanging out with Clive and Nancy and he had some coordination he had to do for his players. So, we said we would make sure to see each other that night or the following day.

While this picture isn't relevant to the story, it was taken last year during All Star Week, and as I don't have any pictures of Clive and I together during his trip here, I thought I would include this one here.

That night I went to the event kick off party (“hosted” by Alyssa Milano) with Nancy and Brooke and about 8 billion people other people. It was a huge facility with many floors filled with people, food and drinks. However, while there were a ton of people there, the 4th floor was the VIP area for Alyssa Milano and all of the players (and by players I mean her ex boyfriends)…the famous people were not hanging out with the commoners, not even close… and security was tight. And I mean tight. And while security was tight, what were even tighter were the passes to get into VIP.

Nancy, who has more connections than God himself, could not get her hands on VIP passes…despite the amount of trades she offered up (I told her she could offer me up in a trade, but after creating her mental pros and cons list, she determined it was a loss… as there were much hotter, much younger girls who had already been hired to take on that role). Despite that, Nancy, Brooke and I went to the party and hung out with the commoners. We had a nice time, but it was very crowded and very loud, and after awhile, Brooke decided she was going to head home as there were many activities over the next few days…including her taking batting practice on the Giants’ Field (courtesy of my brother). Not long after Brooke left, my brother (who was entertaining clients) texted Nancy, who told him that we didn’t have VIP and were probably heading out shortly.

As we were getting ready to head home, I got a text from Fernando saying that he was hanging out in his hotel lobby with some of his players and asked if I wanted to come join him for a drink. I asked Nancy if she wanted to go, and she of course said yes. We headed to their hotel where Fernando met us in the lobby, bought us a drink, and said “Let’s go sit down so we can talk.” We said “Perfect.” As he lead us to sit down, we realized that we were not going to be sitting at a little table hanging out with just him, rather we were being included in Big Papi’s personal gathering of about 10 people… at which time Nancy made a comment about how she could not believe what was happening. To which I made some sort of smart ass comment like “Stick with me kid, you’ll go places.” Charming, I know.

And from my perspective, while clearly it was cool… I am really not that impressed by the whole “famous athletes” thing… probably because I think most of them are cheating slime balls…but I was happy to see Fernando.

After sitting and chatting for a few minutes, a rapid conversation took place between Fernando and David, in Spanish, which I did not understand (though hopefully now I would at least be able to pick up part of it, that is if they were speaking slowly), where David told Fernando he wanted to go and check out the party that we had just left. Fernando asked Nancy and me if we wanted to join, and we quickly agreed. Fernando then called over one of his guys and told him to “figure out” transportation for all of us to get to the party, and about 10 seconds later, the kid returned to say there was a limo waiting out front. It was at that point in time that I realized how quickly things happen when you are rich. Nice perk.

In the blink of an eye, David and all of his peeps were up and heading to the door, surrounded by security. As a lot of fans knew where the players were staying, the lobby was packed with people wanting autographs/pictures etc. Fernando motioned for us to follow them, and I grabbed Nancy’s hand and tried to run as quickly as I could to keep up with the fast moving crowd. I knew if we got separated, we were finished. Then we would have had to refer to it as “the night that could have been.” Luckily for us, that was not the case.

We walked outside the hotel to find one limousine and a bunch of taxi cabs. As David’s posse was larger than the 8 person limo, I quickly assumed we would be catching a cab to follow them back over to the party, hoping Fernando would wait for us before entering. That was until Fernando signaled for us to get in the limo. What? Is there a Rolls Royce coming for David that I don’t see here? Why are we, the “nobodies” being invited to ride in the limo instead of the cab? I didn’t even have a low cut shirt on!

Nancy and I quickly jumped into the limo before anyone realized how out of place we were, and right after we got in, David, his wife and a group of people who I didn’t know (which means they could be rif-raf or could be professional players… I wouldn’t know the difference) got in as well. We sat back in the limo, trying to act casual.. like we actually belonged, when Nancy said to me “I can’t believe you got us in Big Papi’s limo.” After laughing about it (and by laughing I mean I made another smart ass comment), we had a brief chat about the need to take a picture in the limo to have proof or our excursion. Despite our photo desires, we quickly realized the statistical probability of us taking the picture, without placing huge “we don’t belong here” stamps on our foreheads was a big fat zero. While we were able to pull off sneaky pictures of Arturo, in an 8 person limousine, with one of the most famous players of all time, it is hard to take pictures on the sly…even when you are professional crazy people like me and Nanc.

After determining a picture was out of the question, I immediately texted Brooke, and said “You will never guess where we are right now.”… She responded “Don’t think I want to know, but VIP?” To which I responded.. “Better, in Big Papi’s limo.” I won’t tell you what her response was as I don’t want to offend everyone who reads this blog, but let me say she was not happy and clearly expressed that. Sadly for Brooke, this night did turn out to be her “the night that could have been.”

When the limo drove up to the party, we entered through a completely different entrance than the one we had stood in line for before. In this entrance, there was no line, no one checked your ID, you walked down a red carpet, and people took your picture. Pretty hysterical… especially because somewhere, in the Sports Illustrated office, is a picture of me and Nancy posing on the red carpet. I am pretty sure that picture will resurface when Justin Timberlake and I get married. I hope they got my good side… and by good side, I mean I hope my ass is not in the picture.

After posing for pictures, we were quickly escorted to a back elevator to take us to the VIP section. Nancy was a little in awe… not because she hasn’t been at similar functions a million times before, but because little old me, who could not be less important in the world of Major League Baseball, got us there without any problems what so ever.

While I know Nancy liked me before (really, it is hard not to), that night was clearly a bonding time for us, not only because we got to spend a lot of time together, but also because the whole situation was just unbelievable and totally unexpected. At one point in the night, we were standing next to Ortiz when one of his gold/diamond bracelets fell off onto the floor… and he had no idea. Nancy picked up the bracelet and handed it back to him and he politely thanked her, but clearly losing this bracelet would not have been a big deal to him. You could probably build 8 schools in Costa Rica for the cost of that bracelet.

Here we are in VIP… where she told me who everyone was because I had no idea…really, I meant it when I said I totally didn’t belong there..

So after that night, Nancy and I had a special bond, how many people can you say you have ridden with in Ortiz’s limo? That was just the beginning for us of many other great bonding times, including their trip to Costa Rica.

While Nancy and Clive’s visit was short, Nancy and I got some quality bonding time in… sharing the experience of Arturo with his shirt off can really bring two women together. While she may remember Big Papi’s limousine ride more, I will always hang onto that first moment when Arturo disrobed.

We were also fortunate enough to have plenty of time to sit and chat.. including our final night at dinner. As I said before, Clive had decided to stay home that night, so just the two of us headed out for a dinner. We went to La Hacienda where they have amazing sun dried tomato hummus and half bottles of wine…. (which I don’t really understand the concept of in a country that will allow you to take an open bottle of wine home from the restaurant)… where the food was good… but nowhere near as good as Kapi Kapi.

While we were eating and chatting, the skies opened up, and I mean opened up. Nancy had seen rain here, but had not yet experienced the real rain that can happen when living in the rain forest, the rain so loud that you can hardly hear the person next to you talking. It is pretty magical… and as you can imagine pretty wet. So wet that when you try to get a picture, the mist of the rain shows up in the pictures… as it did here.

And as I am kinda used to the rain, and Nancy didn’t bring her rain coat, I gave her mine… looks pretty good on her I think.

It was great having Nancy and Clive visit, and at the end of this trip, I can say that not only is Nancy an important person in my brother’s life, she is also an important person in mine. And while she may just be using me for my connections, I will let her get away with it, at least for awhile.

Visit # 2,345,178 to Bobby D's

“Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head.” – Martin Mull.

No visit is complete without a trip to Bobby D’s, right? I am telling you, when I return to SF, Bobby’s business will drop by at least 25%... with me gone, and Kurt and Linda living an hour north of here now, who will be buying all the beers? Not to mention the quesadillas and homemade chips and guacamole. Soo good!

While there was no league night while Clive and Nancy were here, we created a night of our own by inviting some friends and making 2 teams (which is clearly all there is room for at Bobby D’s).

Linda dressed in fine fashion, with Yankees' attire courtesy of Nancy (of course). Linda LOVES her new gear… Kurt… well as you can see by his hand gestures, not so much.

And while he may not love her Yankees' gear, clearly he loves her.

We had a lot of fun bowling, though I am displeased to have to tell you that I did not bowl well, and Clive beat me… though he didn’t beat my high score, only beat me for the night. As a matter of fact, he beat all of us… and hung his score card on my fridge (which clearly came down the day he left).

Here is Nancy getting into her bowling groove...

And Clive beating us all... though again, didn't beat our high scores. :)
Katie and Pete joined us for bowling, they had a great time, but decided after this night that they would rather be cheerleaders than team members. We love them either way.

While my brother may have beat me that night (obviously I let him win), would you look at that form?
As you know, Linda and I have created a celebration technique where we “butt bump”… well it gets slippery on the bowling floor… and sometimes with all of the excitement, our butt bumping doesn’t work out as planned. And as you can see here, this time Linda ended up on the floor after bowling a strike. I would like to point out, she was not on the floor because my big ass hit her too hard, she slipped as she was running up to butt bump with me.

I am telling you, Linda and Kurt provide more comic relief than any other couple I have ever met… luckily they are able to laugh at themselves, so we are generally laughing with them not at them. Notice I said “generally.”
But after we picked Linda up off the floor, we celebrated her strike La Chusa style.. and even got some good air when doing so. Clearly our practice is paying off!
After Bobby D’s, we headed to another bar downtown, where Nancy took a few much needed shots of tequila. While I am not a fan of shots, I totally understood her need for them… and though I didn’t partake, I did cheers her.

Another great night at Bobby D’s… that place will clearly be at the top of my list of “Things I Miss About Costa Rica.”

Twelve days and counting. Where has the time gone? I love this place, it is magical... and will clearly be blogging about it until Thanksgiving... I have 2 months left to blog about!! But will work hard to get caught up over my last week.

Doodle!!

"When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you, and your best friend will be there." - Unknown

Doodle is here! She arrived on Saturday afternoon and I met her at the airport in Quepos (after she survived a near death flight). The minute she got off the airplane, I literally ran to her and hugged her and felt a huge comfort settle in. Nothing like having your best friend around.

While you may not have heard much about this, as I mostly fill this blog with the comedy that is my life in Costa Rica, when I came to Costa Rica, I was feeling lost and needing a change. Katie had seen this in me for months prior to my departure, knew that I was feeling sad, and kept trying to help… which she did, tremendously, but while she was there to support me, she couldn’t create happiness for me again.

The thing is, most of my friends never realized I was feeling lost, I am good at being chatty and social and great at leaving things behind at work. But the people who know me, who really know me, knew that there was a lot of sadness hidden behind the laughter.

Coming to Costa Rica has been the best decision I ever made, being in Costa Rica has helped me to find my smile again, and I mean that deep down smile that starts in your heart. I have “found” myself again, found what it is that I want, and what it is that makes me happy…and there is nothing more I could have ever hoped for.

Finding such happiness here has also made me a little scared… worried that when I leave here, I might leave that happiness behind and get back into the same rigorous patterns I had before in San Francisco. I feel so much back to “myself” here that I don’t want to lose that. Accordingly, I have been nervous and stressed out about returning to San Fran…. Well, that was until Doodle arrived.

Having her here has reminded me of all I love in San Francisco, and the life and happiness that I had there for so many years. It has reminded me of the amazing friends I have there, and the amazing city where I live… and what it feels like to have the people who love you the most there to surround you and support you. Having Katie here has made me realize that I am now back to a place where I can embrace that.

You will see a lot more about Doodle’s time in Costa Rica (first have to catch you up on the rest of Clive and Nancy’s visit, my trip to the Caribbean, and Greg’s visit)… because we are having a blast!!! But, I think it is important to say that having her here makes me realize that the happiness I have rediscovered is not a temporary thing… and that I am really back to where I want to be, and that is an amazing feeling.

So, when it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, invite your best friend to Costa Rica, and you will realize that everything is going to be all right.

Here we are about 10 minutes after we got to my house... couldn't be happier to be back together again after 5 months apart.

It is Linda's Birthday too!!

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzoni

Two of my favorite people share a birthday, coincidence? I think not!


Happy Birthday Linny!!!

I look forward to your birthday celebration on Saturday. Even if you won’t have your wedding at Bobby D’s, we can certainly have your birthday party there.

I hope that fiancé of yours takes you out for a special dinner… and can't wait to see you this weekend!

besos,
bec

Feliz Cumpleanos Skeemers!

“Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.” – Stephen Wright

It is Skeemers Birthday!!!!

Happy Birthday Skeemers!!! I know how much you love Stephen Wright, so I chose one of his quotes for your birthday.

I hope you have an amazing birthday, I am sorry I can’t be there. However, I will take you out for a birthday celebration when I am in PA at the end of September....that is if you can get a babysitter for that dog of yours. And yes, if you insist, we can go to Chick-fil-a.

You are an amazing support and amazing Mom, thank you for being my Skeemers.

xo,
Boo

Closest thing to a sunset

“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” - Rabindranath Togore

After our day of white water rafting, we went to watch the sunset at Barba Roja… guess we were trying to wrap up our “day of Oropeza”… as Barba Roja is owned by Arturo’s brother Jorge and his longtime partner Heather.

While there was not exactly a sunset… it was not raining… which this time of year is considered a win.

Here is a cute picture of Nancy and Clive...

Kurt and Linda joined us, and Kurt brought some of the strange fruit that he eats regularly… just one of the many interesting fresh fruits around here. Don’t know what it is called…but is seems to go well with beer.
This is how you eat this fruit...and yes, I think making that face is required...

By the time the sun set, it started to sprinkle and we decided to head elsewhere for dinner. We went to a new restaurant that opened the weekend I was in San Salvador, where a friend of mine bartends. Unfortunately, the restaurant did NOT have it together, and despite the fact that there were only about 6 people in the whole place, it took us well over an hour and a half to get our food. Darren (my favorite chef in town) was also there, and couldn’t sit still because he was so bothered by the inefficiency he saw in the kitchen. I am not going to mention the name of this restaurant, as I am hoping they pull it together by high season...but if things don’t turn around quickly, they are going to be closed in a year. If not sooner.

Which, if I move back here as planned….could be good for my waist line. Though gallo pinto and Kapi Kapi would still be around, so I am not sure that would help.

OH MY GOD!!

“Security is an illusion. Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing at all.” - Unknown

At the beginning of July, Nancy and Clive came for a visit. I think actually they were the first people to schedule their trip (around baseball of course) after my “I’m moving to Costa Rica” announcement. That seems like it was so long ago, yet the time has flown by so quickly. Thinking about returning to San Francisco in less than a month is breaking my heart.

Clive and Nancy arrived late on a Friday night, stayed in San Jose and drove up to Manuel Antonio on Saturday morning… getting pulled over for speeding by the cops along the way. The good (and bad) thing about being pulled over by cops in Costa Rica is that you can usually “buy” your way out of a ticket…which my brother did, for $40 (about 2 days of pay for the cop). The bad thing is that I don’t know how much the tickets actually are, so I am not convinced this is a deal. However, what I do know for sure is that my brother spoke in Italian to the police officer when he was pulled over. Turns out the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

When Clive and Nancy arrived in Manuel Antonio, we got them settled at my house, took a walk around the Las Palmas property, and then headed to the beach for a walk. The afternoon clouds were coming in, so it wasn’t a particularly beautiful day at the beach… though really, every day at the beach is beautiful…so that is not a complaint. On our way home from the beach we saw a sloth crawling in a tree and pulled over to the side of the road for a closer look. Nothing like a proper “welcome” to Costa Rica.

After getting home from the beach, we showered and headed out to dinner at…. brace yourselves… Kapi Kapi (which added .6 lbs to my thighs). After dinner, we came home for a good night of sleep before heading out to white water raft in the morning.

Not long after my arrival in Costa Rica, I sent out an email to everyone who was coming to visit, along with a list of local activities, asking people to “sign up” for things they wanted to do, as I wanted to make sure that
1. they were entertained – especially as I had to work during the weekdays
2. I wasn’t repeating activities 1,000 times

Of everyone this was sent to, I received 2 responses back. The first was a brief response from Doodle, highlighting a few things she wanted to do, but letting me know she was up for anything…typical laid back “Doodle fashion.” The second was a 4 page memo from Nancy, with a ranked, color coordinated list of all of the activities they were interested in doing, along with corresponding “pros” and “cons” columns for each activity… including follow up questions that required a response from me.

Ok, that is a slight exaggeration, but this woman is organized (which actually fits in great with my Type A personality… but Nancy puts me to shame).

In her response, she stressed that Clive was really interested in white water rafting… but only if it was Class 5 rapids.

As you will hear, if you spend more than 3.2 seconds with my brother, he has gone white water rafting in Zambia… which apparently is an amazing and life risking experience. While I like an adventure, I also like having the ability to move all of my limbs without the use of a mechanical device, so the idea of Class 5 rapids was a little intimidating to me. Luckily I was not alone, as Nancy was also feeling a little apprehensive.

In true Nancy fashion, her apprehensiveness lead to planning and research… where she found this:

Class III: Rapids with high irregular waves often capable of swamping an open canoe. Narrow passages that often require complex maneuvering. May require scouting from shore.

Class IV: Long, difficult rapids with constricted passages that often require precise maneuvering in very turbulent waters. Scouting from shore is often necessary, and conditions make rescue difficult. Generally not possible for open canoes. Boaters in covered canoes and kayaks should be able to Eskimo roll.

Class V: Extremely difficult, long, and very violent rapids with highly congested routes that nearly always must be scouted from shore. Rescue conditions are difficult and there is significant hazard to life in event of mishap. Ability to Eskimo roll is essential for kayaks and canoes.

Naranjo (the local rafting river): A wild river (Class III-IV) near Quepos that requires some rafting experience. Run from June to November.

After reading the line “there is significant hazard to life in event of mishap” Nanc and I pretty instantly ruled out searching for a Class V tour, and were seriously weighing the benefits of floating on a raft in the pool, while sending Clive out for his needed “man rush.”

However, I had previously met a guy, Arturo, during Lara’s visit, who told me that he was a white water rafting guide. I ran into his brother downtown one day (who we had met the same night) and asked which company his brother worked for… partly because I knew Clive wanted to raft, and partly because Arturo was kinda cute (though clearly a player). Not seeing the shirtless wonder again has resulted in me opening up the possibility of an outside search. Look, it is hard to be faithful to a person you have never gone out with… or for that matter had a conversation with…or seen in 4 months… or maybe never saw at all… they say the heat can do crazy things to your eyes. For all I know, the person I saw on the street that day could have been an 80 year old woman…which would then make it weird to call her the “shirtless wonder.”

I called Arturo and booked us on the tour (getting us a significant discount I might add) and we headed out Sunday morning. When we got to the starting point for the tour, I realized that we weren’t white water rafting, so much as brown water rafting…. this time of year that river is nothing but murky muddy water… which reminded me of the water under crocodile bridge… not very comforting. And no amount of reassurance from any of the guides convinced me that this water was croc free. All it takes is one.

In preparation for our journey, the guides began to equip us with the necessary safety devices (life jacket/helmet etc.). Though as I am pretty sure a croc can bite through a life jacket, and is strong enough to pull me under even with the life jacket on, I am not really sure how much better these safety devices made me feel. However, as we began to “suit up,” I noticed that (read: had been waiting for) Arturo had taken his shirt off. I had thought he was cute before…but OH MY GOD!!!

I subtly tried to get Nancy’s attention (we all know how good I am at subtle) at which point in time it took every ounce of our self control to not shamelessly stare at his beautiful body. We also tried to figure out sly ways to take his picture, without looking like crazy pathetic girls trying to take his picture…which is clearly exactly what we were.

Look people, don’t judge… it has been a long time… and I mean a long time… and while I don’t know how long it has been for Nancy, what I do know is that while I love my brother, there is a big difference between Arturo with his shirt off… and Clive with his shirt off.

As Nancy and I were casually wiping the drool off the side of our mouths, we came to the consensus that Arturo should never wear a shirt again.

Ever.

No, I mean it, ever.

After we “suited up” in our equipment, we were asked to walk over next to the rafts for our preliminary instructions. Our instructions were given to us by a kind Argentinean man who kept saying “yeah?” after ever 3rd word… but who basically told us:

1. don’t fall out of the boat
2. if you do fall out of the boat.. don’t panic
3. when you are in the water, lift your knees up towards your chest.. and watch out for rocks…but don’t panic
4. don’t let go of your paddle, it might end up being your life line…but if you do, don’t panic
5. if you get stuck under the boat “feel” your way to the side… and don’t panic
6. listen to the guides no matter what, they are the experts and will tell you the right things to do… and don’t panic

All of the talk about “not panicking” made me start to panic. Especially because during the entire time he was giving the instructions, all I could think was “Um, where are my instructions for fighting off the crocodiles that are surely in this water waiting to eat me?” Well, that is almost true… the thought of crocodiles eating me was certainly at the forefront of my mind, but that thought was often interrupted by my pondering how to remain calm enough during the rafting experience to flirt with Arturo. Though frankly, we all know that is not possible…as I don’t talk to boys I think are cute… unless of course I have had a few drinks.

As the instructions continued, I started to feel pretty nervous. I don’t like to be in water where I can’t see the bottom, or at the very least, my feet… and as muddy as this water was, the visibility was zero. And while I have never been white water rafting before, after my zip line experience, I was starting to think that maybe I am just not an adventure girl, and was convinced that “no me gusta” was going to come out of my mouth numerous times that day.

Here is a picture of the Argentinean giving us the “no panic” instructions.

After the “don’t panic” instructions were complete, I asked where the “safest” (I use that term generously) place in the boat was, and when they said up front…I immediately volunteered to be “front row joe.” While I am pretty certain they were lying to me about the front being the safest location, what I figured is that if I was the furthest person away from the guide… and did in fact fall into the crocodile infested water, being in the front would be the best location as the guide would have a second to react and then grab me out of the water before the boat floated by me. And by “grab me out of the water”… I mean that Arturo would dive into the water, hold me in his arms against his bare chest (he is clearly so strong he doesn’t need a life jacket) and ward off the crocodiles.

In addition to choosing seat location, we also had to decide upon which boat we were going to ride in. There were 2 boats to choose from… one larger and one smaller. The guides claimed that I was less likely to fall out of the larger boat…but Arturo was the guide in the smaller boat. What is a girl to do?

Here comes the “I’d rather” game:

Would I rather, my first time white water rafting, ride in the smaller more dangerous boat… when I was already nervous about the situation in the first place… but could then be close to the hot guide…

Or, ride in the larger, safer boat…thus restricting my ability to demonstrate my wittiness and charm to said hot guide, while paddling down the river..

While this decision was more difficult than most…I pretty quickly realized that falling in the water, crying hysterically and panicking was not going to be the “wittiness and charm” I wanted to demonstrate… so it was a better option to play it safe, ride in the larger boat, and hope that I run into Arturo another day at happy hour (though in addition to thinking he is a player, I also think he might have a girlfriend… thus even more negating the reasons for me to risk my life in the smaller boat).

Nancy, I think, was replaying the color coded pros and cons list of this activity in her head, and decided, like me, to play it safe. Clive on the other hand, chose the smaller boat, as clearly the small rapids of the Naranjo River are nothing like the dangerous waters in Zambia.

Here is a photo of Clive’s boat heading out…kinda blurry I know… must have been because I was shaking in my boots.

After Arturo’s boat departed, the rest of us got into the larger boat, where “Rambo” gave us additional instructions:

1. when I say “paddle forward,” paddle forward
2. when I say “paddle backwards,” paddle backwards
3. when I say “OH MY GOD!” drop down and sit on the floor of the boat until I tell you to get up

See, you thought I titled the blog “OH MY GOD!!” because of how good Arturo looks without a shirt… but that wasn’t the reason…though clearly it could have been.

Our raft took off, and I was listening closely for the “OH MY GOD” command, which came shortly into the ride. I dropped down to the floor, the rapids crashed over us and I got some water up my nose and in my mouth (mostly because I was laughing). When I popped back up into my “assigned seat” I realized that my bathing suit was totally up my ass and that I was going to spend a considerable amount of time on this tour with a wedgie. Thank goodness I chose not to ride in Arturo’s boat…in addition to the increased possibility of being eaten by crocodiles, there was clearly a significant chance he would have seen my ass for a considerable length of time on the tour… which frankly, is the last thing I want anyone to see.

There were many more "OH MY GOD" moments, but as the rafting continued, and I was more comfortable with the whole process, instead of grasping onto the side of the boat during the “no paddle” times (this time of year there isn’t much paddling required as the current pretty much carries you down the river) I began to watch the raft in front of us. Arturo’s raft… and I wasn’t really watching the raft, so much as Arturo. Each time Arturo paddled, you could see the muscles flex in his back, shoulders and arms. And what a sight it was. Clearly choosing the larger raft was the best decision.

At one point, I turned around to Nancy (who was sitting directly behind me) and said “Would you look at Arturo’s arms?” at which time she said “That is all I have been doing the whole time.” Come to think of it, the only time I was actually close to falling out of the raft, was when I was considering diving into the water to swim over to Arturo’s boat. Crocs or no crocs…those arms are worth swimming for.

Overall we had a great time rafting, though I didn’t take any more pictures along the way, partly because the water kept us moving pretty quickly and partly because I was too busy starting at Arturo’s muscles…but we did get some good shots at the end. And by good, I mean completely gratuitous shots of Arturo with his shirt off. As I am a kind, generous person who likes to give back, I have decided to post some of them here.

You’re welcome.

Picture of Clive and Nancy after the rafting was complete. While it may appear that she is looking at the camera, I am pretty sure she wasn't as Arturo was standing behind me.

Arturo is the guy in the green hat... would you please just look at those arms? Now imagine him paddling.
Arturo is in the middle, you can see his back and shoulders in this picture. Yum.

Do you remember that game from Sesame Street "One of These Things Is Not Like the Other?" Like I said, I love my brother...but come on already, would you look at Arturo?


Here we are...and while my hair may be muddy and plastered to my head...... here he stands in all of his glory. Marvelous 6-pack glory.

In conclusion:
rafting = fun
Arturo with his shirt off = OH MY GOD!!

I'm trying, I'm trying

“You may delay, but time will not.” - Benjamin Franklin

I told you yesterday, I am way behind in my blog… still trying to catch up from the beginning of July… but am committed to blogging every day this week until Katie arrives, at which time there will be another week long break. And after the numerous requests I have received, I may even surprise you at the beginning of next week, while busy with Katie, by posting another dance video of the woman from the fair. I can schedule posts in advance you know.

Who would have ever thought that there would be a dancing post, other than Kurt’s, that resulted in so much feedback. But I would like to point out that the differences between Kurt and the drunk lady are many:

1. While they may both be more inclined to dance after a few drinks, Kurt knows that he can’t dance (kind of)… but still likes to provide us with comic relief.
2. Kurt, while he may dance for us in small well known groups, does not get up in front of a 100 people (uninvited I might add) and try to “steal the thunder” of the karaoke singer.
3. Kurt did not/does not have a small child present to watch the disaster unfold.
4. Kurt does not wear a bra, though if he did, I am confident that he would have worn a strapless bra with that shirt.
5. Kurt’s dancing, while hysterical… does not quite qualify as “tragic”… though it is a fine line… one he seems to be willing to walk.

So… working on new posts now… to catch you up on Clive and Nancy’s visit, my trip to the Caribbean side of CR, Greg’s visit and our trip to the Osa Peninsula, pictures of some of the volunteer activities I have been participating in… and of course… more bowling blogs. Really, I think Bobby D’s has had more dedicated posts than anything else here… though deservedly so.

Ok, back to writing… and for those of you who appreciate photos of unbelievably hot shirtless men…you will not want to miss the next post!

Love to all...

Tragic in any language

“There is no life without humor. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious and it can make tragic moments bearable.” – Rufus Wainwright

I promised you some tragic goodness from karaoke at the fair... so here you go.

Um, ok… first of all, I hate Celine Dion… with her waif self, old creepy husband, strange son with long hair… and her songs. For the love of God, would that woman just shut up already?

But while I don’t like Celine Dion, what I do like is hearing Tico men sing the theme song to Titanic…somehow it sounds so much better coming from them. So much so that I had to get it on video. I have warned you, the Ticos love karaoke.

There is also video here of a woman dancing. Please, when you watch this video, know that the Latin people (in general) have an amazing sense of rhythm and can move faster and more smoothly than you would believe… this woman is clearly the exception to the rule… and should have stopped drinking about 4 hours before she started doing this.

There are a lot of funny things I could say about these videos, but I will let them speak for themselves.

Watch and enjoy.

The fair has come to town

“Looks like some carnival lost a good act.” – James Gleason

There is a pier along the water in downtown Quepos; I had heard this was where the farmer’s market was held, but the entire time I have lived here, the farmer’s market has been held behind the bus station. During the day you sometimes see a few locals sitting along the pier, and at night that is where the drug deals are allegedly made… but other than that I haven’t seen any other happenings along this pier (it is not the gorgeous view you are envisioning, rather those views are closer to Manuel Antonio). That was until the fair came to town.

We first noticed this fair during one of our regular walks to the internet café. Initially, we weren’t quite sure what they were putting up, as this fair seemed to be assembled piece by piece and took well over a week to set up. Please don’t let the length of set up time give you any grandiose ideas about the size or offerings of the fair...rather I think the delay was probably in part due to one-lane bridges and overall just due to “Tico Time.”

We continued to watch the assembly process for about a week and once we saw the rides go up, we knew we were in business. Unfortunately, this time of year it rains most nights, so for a week we made attempts to go with no success, but on the first non rainy night, we ceased the opportunity.

When we arrived, we walked up the steps to the pier, where we entered a bar… not because we have drinking problems, but because it was set up as the entry way to the fair. I liked this place already… though I don’t know if the bar entrance sends the right kind of “family fun” message… I don’t think I have ever had a beer at a carnival before.

Here are Linda and Kurt kicking off the night with a beer. I am pretty sure some of the people sitting in the bar never made it any further… however, we knew there was excitement to be had.

After getting a beer, we began to walk through the fair, realizing what a generous term that was. There were numerous stands set up (all selling the same cheap crap), a cotton candy booth, some small rides off in the distance and games involving alcohol. That is right, pretty much every game at the carnival involved bottles of liquor, either as a part of the game, or as a prize… or in some cases, both. I thought carnivals were supposed to be for kids… guess “family fun” was really not their intended message. Which frankly is alright by me, I don’t have kids…though am strongly considering stealing a Tica baby before my return home.
The first game we came across was pretty straight forward, and very similar to drinking games played at bars in the States. You throw dice, add up your total, and win the prize with the corresponding number… which was money, liquor or no prize at all.

As you can see from this picture, this game requires very little in the way of materials… and I am pretty sure this guy just packs up his little box and catches a ride to the next fair with someone else…which allows him to drink the remaining bottles of alcohol… which he is able to keep because he is a cheat.
Kurt was the first to go, threw his dice and we began to do the math. As we were adding the dice in our heads, the “game master” quickly scooped them up and announced a number…which was coincidentally a number with no corresponding prize. We were pretty sure that wasn’t the correct number, but couldn’t prove it (or argue well enough about it in Spanish, though, not surprisingly, Kurt gave it an earnest effort). Turns out the dice game was a rip off (surprise surprise), but that didn’t stop us from playing again. No sir. Linda went next, and we made sure the game master (read: thief) didn’t touch the dice until we were able to count them, at which time Linda won 1 million colones (about $2). It was then my turn where I won nothing…which as you will see became a pattern for me over the course of the night. Onto the next game…
The second game we played surprisingly did not involve liquor bottles, just some crappy stuffed animals (similar to carnivals in the States) and a couple of cans. All you had to do to win was knock down all of the cans… easier said than done as I am pretty sure a couple of the cans on the bottom were nailed down to the plank. Kurt hit those cans pretty hard, and they did not budge. The conspiracy continues….
The next name was the ring toss. While this game is at most carnivals in the States, it is usually made up of soda bottles, not in Costa Rica my friends. In Costa Rica your ring toss game involves…. drum roll please…bottles of liquor.

And as with the last game, this game seemed to be a little “rigged” as we are pretty sure the rings that we were given weren’t really big enough to fit over any bottle. We asked for a demonstration to prove that the rings actually fit, however our request was never honored. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop us from playing, nor did it stop Kurt from really cheering Linda on. Guess he really wanted her to win a bottle of liquor that he could buy down the street for about $5.

After our lack of success with the ring toss, we moved onto a game that I don’t really understand. I had never seen this game before, though Linda said that when she was little, they used to play this game at the church carnival. I didn’t realize gambling was a part of church, had I known, maybe I would have gone more often.

So, for those of you who, like me, have never seen this game, here is the deal…in this game, there are a bunch of coins on a platform that continues to move back and forth. You drop money into the machine in hopes of “pushing” the other money forward, thus winning the money that drops down through the hole. Sounds simple, right? Well maybe at the church carnival where the people aren’t trying to rip you off. Whereas, at the Quepos fair, money is piled up so much in the front that it is really heavy and pretty much impossible to move forward far enough to drop into the hole… we could have just as easily handed the man a dollar and walked away… the outcome would have been the same, minus the frustration.

The final rip off game of the night, was a dart toss. I am pretty sure I don’t need to explain to you the object of the game, but will tell you the rip off scheme behind this one. When you get up to the game, they hand you the darts (of which there are 3) and tell you that to win all you have to do is pop a balloon. If you are successful in popping one of the balloons, you win the correlating amount of money attached to the balloon.

Being the expert dart player that I am, I hit a balloon with my 2nd dart and was thrilled… I was actually going to win 2 million colones. As I started to celebrate, the guy explained that I had to hit the balloon on the other side of the bill as well…meaning you must hit 2 balloons on the same bill for anything to happen. Not how he originally explained it… you got it, ripped off once again.
After giving all of our coins to the Ticos (while I am complaining about being ripped off, we couldn’t have spent more than $5 between the 3 of us), we walked further along the pier to the kids rides. Wow. Let’s just say that if I do steal a child, I am pretty sure I will not let them go on any fair ride except for the merry go round.

You would not believe how shaky this ride looked. As the "ferris wheel" goes around, those carts swing in circles. I was just waiting for someone to be thrown into the water.

But this ride was the scariest of all... while my Spanish is not quite good enough to read the local newspaper, I am fairly confident the following day's headline read:

"Four Children Killed on the Octopus Ride"

Every time they tried to "close" the carts, it was a difficult task... and required a lot of body weight. When the ride started, I was just convinced the "mouth" would open again and bodies were going to be on the ground.
Please look closely at this boy. If you click on the picture and open it up, you will notice a little yellow chain that was supposed to be his seatbelt.. there was no way that was going to hold him in. As he was sitting at the top (in this picture), waiting for the other children to be loaded in, he was smart enough to spread his feet out, which I am convinced was the only thing that kept him from falling out.
Now if you look to the top left of this picture, you will see one arm... the arm of a little girl who couldn't have weighed more than 40 lbs soaking wet. As her car was spinning around, she was grabbing for dear life onto the side.

This is pretty much the only ride I will allow my stolen child on... and only if I am standing right next to her.

As we did not want to watch young children die, we decided to head into the bar on this end of the fair; seems as though you can’t get out of this place without having another drink. Welcome to the Hotel California.

Here are Katie and Pete, the honeymooners and our neighbors at Las Palmas. More about them in the Caribbean blog...

As we were heading back down the pier after stuffing our faces on some fried noodles and churros, I saw a stand, that for $4, would engrave your name on a fake silver necklace… which instantly got me thinking about how we could take our “team uniform” to a whole new level. As soon as I saw this, I ran up to our “coach” to tell him that instead of the fake spray on tattoos we had previously considered getting, I thought the necklaces were just what we needed. He immediately agreed.

We walked back to the stand, picked out our necklaces and the engraving began. On the front of our necklaces we had “Las Chusas De La Suerte” (the name of our team)…
and on the back, Kurt got his high score engraved. That is right people, Kurt scored a 170 one night and now has the highest score on record at Bobby D’s. I bet his mama is proud. And while Kurt encouraged me to get my high score engraved on the back, I refused, and told him that I didn’t want to “limit myself.”

That's right... 170! And don't you forget it (which actually is impossible to do with the amount he talks about it)
Here is Kurt "presenting" Linda with her necklace. What an honor.
And the presentation of mine. Could we be any trashier?

And while I may be trashy... I am also proud...

Our new team necklaces. Bobby D is going to love them... or think we have gone too far.
Our evening at the fair ended like all other nights at Tico bars… with a little karaoke… and a lot of laughs…it is amazing what people will do after a few beers… and this time I don’t mean Kurt. But you will have to wait until the next posting for the tragedy that ensued…

And realizing that this carnival happened back at the beginning of July, and I am only now blogging about it, makes me realize that I will be telling stories about Costa Rica until December… because I have so many stories waiting to be told. Either that or I better blog every day for the next 3 weeks.